I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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