I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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