the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize