do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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