that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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