Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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