I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
