I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
