We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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