She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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