Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
