Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
