Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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