dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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