My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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