There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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