Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
