Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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