"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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