Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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