Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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