I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
