so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Randomize
