We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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