I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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