i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
