There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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