I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
