No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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