you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Randomize
