I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
