do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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