Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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