I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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