ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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