yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
