grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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