Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
