You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
