your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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