I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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