How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
