jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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