I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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