well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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