Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize