i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
