Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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