My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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