i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
