I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
