I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
