Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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