You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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