My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
