Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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