I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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