dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
