But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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