its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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