oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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